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Personally am hungry for advice from those on dealing with midlife challenges, including existential reckonings, fading relevance, noticing one’s neck resembling a melted timepiece and a newfound passion about property shows. Most recently, I discovered the chef’s comments about hitting fifty via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t there a tension about evading pessimists and honing one’s rejection skills? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you see yourself in gloomy figures; has a spiritual reader mentioned your vibe is murky?

If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.